This article was last updated on July 02, 2025
We get it. As mums and dads, we lie awake in bed, hoping we’re doing a good job. We wish for our kids to grow up to be kind, confident people who find their place in the world. That drive to see them succeed? It comes from pure love. But somewhere along the way, that love can get tangled up in the noise – the report cards, the team tryouts, the quiet (or not-so-quiet) comparisons to the neighbor’s kid who seems to master everything instantly.
what we learned
Here’s what we learned while building the Inspire Martial Arts program: that constant comparison? It’s like putting sand in the wheels of young hearts. It creates worry, breaks their belief in themselves, and worst of all, it distracts from what truly matters. Every child is a world of their own possible greatness, opening up in their own time, with a special mix of gifts.
Think about it
would you expect a little tree to give apples the same day as a big, old one? Of course not. Yet, we sometimes do this with kids. That’s why, from day one at Inspire, we ditch the one-size-fits-all approach. Before any child steps onto the mat for their first real class, we sit down with them (and you!). It’s not a test, and there are no grades. It’s a friendly chat and some simple movement activities – a chance for us to really see where this specific child is at.
We’re looking at things like:
• How their little body coordinates movement (Can they hop? Balance? Throw?)
• Where their focus naturally lands (Are they curious about details? Do they get absorbed in watching?)
• How they feel about trying something new (Excited? Hesitant? Watchful?)
• How they interact in a group setting
This isn’t about labeling
it’s about understanding. Because placing a wide-eyed 5-year-old who’s still figuring out left from right into a class with focused 10-year-olds expecting complex sequences isn’t fair. It sets them both up for frustration. Science tells us clearly that kids’ brains and bodies grow in stages. Studies from groups like the CDC show us common developmental steps, reminding us how different young and older kids can be – in both what they can do and what they need. [CDC – Child Development Milestones: https://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/childdevelopment/index.html]
classes are carefully structured
So, our classes are carefully structured by age group, informed by this understanding of developmental psychology. The activities for our “Little Ninjas” (ages 4–6) look very different from our “Junior Warriors” (7–9) or “Teen Leaders” (10+). The goal? To make sure the challenges are just right – like Goldilocks’ porridge. Not so easy they’re bored, not so hard they feel defeated, but perfectly “just challenging enough” to spark growth and that incredible “I did it!” grin.
But here’s where the real magic (and sometimes, parental anxiety) happens: Even within a perfectly age-matched class of, say, seven-year-olds… differences shine through brightly. Let me paint a picture from last Tuesday:
• Aiden practically flew through the agility ladder drill. His little legs were a blur! Coordination? That kid’s got it in spades.
• Right beside him, Maya moved more deliberately. The ladder took focus. But when it came time for the quiet concentration drill – holding a stance perfectly still while the instructor slowly counted – Maya transformed. She was a statue, laser-focused, embodying calm strength where others fidgeted.
Aiden’s mom might have felt a flicker of worry watching Maya master the stillness so quickly. Maya’s dad might have wondered why the ladder seemed trickier for her. Here’s the crucial shift we encourage: Don’t watch sideways. Watch forward. The real question isn’t “Why isn’t my child doing it like that child?” It’s “Look how much my child has grown since last week or last month.”
Did Aiden show more patience today than when he started? That’s a win! Did Maya attempt the ladder with more confidence, even if her feet didn’t fly yet? Huge progress! They’re on paths next to each other, not on the same road. The big goal of Inspire isn’t to make all-star black belts; it’s to help every child discover and become the best version of themselves.
Those last two words
“of themselves” – are everything. They acknowledge that even kids born on the same day bring unique gifts, temperaments, and learning speeds to the mat. As educator Robert John Meehan wisely said, “Every child has a different learning style and pace. Each kid is one-of-a-kind, not just able to learn but also to be winners.” Our job isn’t to ignore those differences, but to cheer them on and help them grow. The National Association for the Education of Young Children talks a lot about this idea of “Teaching That’s Right for Kids,” saying we should teach kids from where they are. [NAEYC – Developmentally Appropriate Practice: https://www.naeyc.org/resources/topics/dap]
Is competition bad?
No way! A fun challenge, seen the right way – “See if you can beat your own best time!” or “Team up with your buddy to learn this move!” – can be a great push. It can make a kid step just outside their comfort zone, showing them they can do more than they thought. The American Psychological Association notes that healthy competition, when focused on self-improvement instead of beating others, can build resilience. [APA – Competition Can Be Healthy for Kids: https://www.apa.org/topics/parenting/competition]
But when “what’s fair” always means measuring against another child – especially during early growth – it can crush self-esteem and that inner drive we want to build. Plus, imagine how boring the world would be if we all did things the same way!
Our instructors are trained
So, what does this look like on the mats? Our instructors are trained to be expert observers and encouragers. They meet your child exactly where they are today. They see Maya’s natural calm and give her leadership roles in focus exercises, building her confidence. They see Aiden’s physical energy and channel it into agility challenges that also incorporate small moments of stillness. They celebrate Maya’s ladder attempt with the same genuine enthusiasm as Aiden’s speed. They help each child shine in their strengths while gently, supportively building skills in areas that take more effort.
Celebrating your child’s unique journey
That proud grin when they finally nail a move they’ve worked on for weeks. The newfound focus they bring to homework (yes, parents tell us this happens!). The quiet confidence of standing taller. These are the successes that build unshakeable self-worth. Using specific praise (“Wow, Maya, your focus was incredible during that stance!”) and nurturing their internal pride (“Aiden, you must feel so proud mastering that tricky kick!”) is powerful fuel. Resources like Understood.org offer great insights into appreciating different learning styles and strengths. [Understood – Understanding Individual Learning Differences: https://www.understood.org/en/articles/understanding-your-childs-trouble-with-learning]
This combination – recognizing effort and achievement (extrinsic motivation) while nurturing their internal fire to learn and grow (intrinsic motivation) – is infinitely more powerful than any comparison. As the beautiful saying goes: “Don’t compare your child to others. There’s no comparison between the sun and the moon. They shine when it’s their time.” [PositivePsychology.com on Avoiding Destructive Comparison: https://positivepsychology.com/stop-comparing-yourself-to-others/]
At Inspire, our place is where kids get the space, the fun challenges, and the deep belief to find their own special glow. Is this the only way to think about it, or are there more we haven’t explored yet? Maybe these thoughts will open doors for you. We don’t train identical ninjas. We nurture individual humans, helping them find their strength, their focus, their courage, and their own brilliant way to shine – right on schedule, their schedule. Because when they believe in their own unique potential, that’s the most powerful move of all.